Silver
by Alexandermylove
Summary: Is the beginning really the end? Or does it fit somewhere in the middle? An AU/AH Malec high school fic that is told out of order. A series of oneshots that tell the tale of Alec and Magnus, how they met, how they fell in love, and so much more.
1. Day 436

**A/N: Hey guys! New story! This time it's an AU/AH high school fic with Alec trying to hide a gigantic secret that sometimes feels like it will break his whole world apart if it gets out...his sexuality.**

** It will be told out of order so a chapter having to do with their first meeting can be followed with their first time making love. (You never know) **

**Just as a warning, this story will get angst-y and kinda dark and sad sometimes but there will also be some fluffy chapters in the mix.**

**This is written in a different way than I usually do and I'll admit to going a little crazy with all the formatting, but I felt like it added to the effect (if you think it's confusing feel free to tell me and I'll change it). **

**So after all that, here is the first chapter of Silver:**

* * *

November 5th, 2014

* * *

Hands reaching down

black

and caramel

and golden green.

Cringing away because it hurts. It hurts so much.

Not the touch.

The touch is as light as a butterfly wing and as soft as a feather.

It's the unseen pain that carries the most weight.

It normally isn't big knife wounds that can be dodged and avoided

but small paper cuts.

Small offhand remarks like:

'_faggot' _

'_homo'_

'_cocksucker'_

'_queer' _

that build up through the day.

Through the days.

Weeks.

Months.

Years.

And it's been one year, two months, one week, and three days of hiding.

And I'm still so scared.

Still terrified of what people will think.

Scared of the knife wounds.

Scared of days like today.

Why is it so hard for people to accept something

or someone

that is different?

Why is the world automatically set up to accept some and in the same breath condemn others?

Black

and caramel

and golden green

And warm hands

and solid chest

and salty tears

and I don't know why

or how

he still puts up with me.

How he is able to say that he loves me day after day when I continue to act like this.

How he can kiss these lips that can't speak the truth.

Or look into these eyes that can't be met straight on.

How when he gets attacked in class,

gets blatantly told that he is going to hell for being who he is

and the teacher does nothing to intervene

and I run out of the room

he still came running out after me.

He still tries to comfort me.

Still wants to make me feel better because he is an amazing person.

An amazing person that anyone would be honored to be with.

But instead he chose me.

He chose me of all people and now appears to be stuck.

I would understand if he wanted to leave.

If he decided that he no longer wanted to be with me.

One year, two months, one week, and three days is a long time.

A very long roller coaster ride.

Yes, there were some plummets to low places, but there were also a lot of ups.

Moments that will stay with me forever.

Skin brushing up against skin

under cool sheets

and whispers

spoken in the dead of night

and looks

that saw right past the eyes and peered directly into the soul.

He knew everything about me from my deepest desires

to my darkest fears.

He knew how intertwined those two things were.

How much I wanted him but was so

so scared to let anyone know.

But he stays

and he is always there

for the highs,

the lows

and almost every time in between.

He forever stays

my love,

my life,

my everything.

My Magnus.

Black hair

and caramel skin

and golden green eyes.

Curled around me,

comforting me,

trying to pick me back up

while I break down on the bathroom floor.

Whispering words that almost fall on deaf ears but I could never fully block him out.

I could never ignore a voice like that.

"Darling, Alec-Alec please don't cry, love. I tell you this every time, people like that don't matter. They really don't. They are just ignorant assholes who get off on making other people feel ashamed of who they are. You can't let them get to you."

But they do get to me.

They get to me

every.

single.

time.

I'm not as strong as he is.

I never can be.

He wipes the tears away from my cheeks with his thumb.

I look into his eyes and I see so much pain.

Pain because I'm feeling it.

We are as connected as two trees

who are rooted so close to each other that their branches grow twisted,

twining around each other,

reaching toward the sun,

and dropping all of their leaves in the winter.

Together.

Always.

I look into his eyes until I can stop crying.

Until I can draw from his strength and stop the shaking.

He helps me up from the floor and draws me to him once again

when it looks like I'm about to break apart for the second time.

I press my head against the steady

_thump._

_thump._

_thump._

that was his heartbeat.

It was the steadiest thing in my life at times.

The only thing that kept me grounded when I wanted to float away into nothingness.

He takes me to the sink and washes my face.

Salty tears and water mixing _drip _

_drip _

_dripping _

and disappearing down the drain.

He touches himself up.

Black lines drawn around eyes

and red coloring brushed over cheeks

so he can leave looking as perfect as when he entered.

With one last hug,

one last kiss on the forehead,

one last smile in my direction.

Black

and caramel

and golden green

disappear through the door.

And after waiting a few minutes

so do I.

Reappear in the crowded hallway, full of loud people as if nothing happened.

* * *

**A/N: So it was a bit short but I hope y'all liked it anyway. **

**I want to give you guys a choice so leave me a review (or pm me, or whatever) telling me whether you want the next chapter to be the first day Magnus and Alec met each other or one of their biggest 'fights' as a couple. **

**Thanks for reading! **

**-Alexandermylove**


	2. Day 1

**A/N: Hey guys! There was so much positive feedback for the last chapter (I will put responses to reviews at the bottom) and I hope you guys like this one too. It is the day that they met. **

**I introduced a _bunch_ of characters in this chapter, **(If keeping track of all of them is confusing there is also an explanation at the bottom) **for that I'm sorry but they just wanted to appear. There will be a lot of characters from TMI and even TID in this story but they won't take away too much from Malec. **

**And with that said here is Day 1:**

* * *

August 26th, 2013

* * *

Loud alarm

and first day

of the worst year

and so tired

why did I stay up so late reading?

Alarm still buzzing

and _oh yeah_

I stayed up in the hopes of

if I didn't sleep

then I would never have to wake up and experience today.

Alarm finally off

and standing up,

heading to the shower,

making the water the hottest temperature

and the hardest pressure,

not coming out until my skin is scalding

and a painful looking red.

Heading back to the room,

throwing on the first clothes I find.

Going to the second bed in the room

because my baby brother could sleep through a tornado if we let him

and wake him up.

Locate his glasses

send him off to get ready too.

Walk down the hallway

catch the tail end of Izzy and Ana arguing about whether or not

they should wear matching outfits

through their door.

Arrive downstairs

find a giant stack of pancakes

and a note

in the place of parents.

_Hope you all have an excellent first day. See you at the end of the week. _

"Wow mom, you care so much."

I crumpled the note and threw it in the trash.

I knew it was a bit harsh.

She really does care,

even if only from a distance

but I would like if I got to see her face more often

than just on the weekends.

And dad...

it would be good if I could see him more than just in passing.

And time flies when you're having a miserable time thinking about the absent adults in your life.

Is that not actually how the saying goes?

Max is the first one down the stairs.

He seems excited about the appearance of pancakes

but disappointed to see neither Maryse or Robert.

It makes me sad to think that one day he will get used to it

accept the fact that they will never be the type of parents

to eat with him in the morning

or tuck him in at night.

Gideon and Gabe walk in as we're setting the table.

Like me,

they are unsurprised by the absence of their adoptive parents

and just dig into the food.

Iz and Ana stroll in a few minutes later.

They apparently reached the decision that they had to match

they were both wearing very short navy blue dresses

and six inch heels.

After breakfast everyone grabbed their stuff and headed outside.

My adoptive siblings

(and Izzy)

climb into one convertible and speed away

with the promise of meeting up later.

Max and I get into another convertible and wait.

From the house across the street

emerges two figures

holding hands

They have nothing in common

except for their eyes

That clear green color that is the same as freshly mowed grass in the summertime

The tall figure

at first glance

looked like he was carved from ice and snow

all sharp lines and hard muscle

white,

so white the blond was almost nonexistent

hair

and super pale skin

He climbed into the the front of the car beside me

while the shorter figure

composed of all bright colors

fiery red

vibrant green

and slight gold

practically jumped into the back

One long car ride later

and the two youngest exit the car

"Bye Alec!

Bye Jon!"

They yell out

before they are running into the building.

They are actually excited to start a new year of school.

They have yet to experience

how life can turn

how one second you can be high in the sky

touching the clouds

then the next

you are falling

S

P

L

A

T

and it keeps going

while you are trying to scrape up your pieces

and glue them back together

Not that that was something you wanted to say to nine year olds

They would find out in due time

Instead we say:

"Bye Max!

Bye Val!"

Drive away

Pull up at our own institution of torture

I mean learning

(I sometimes get the two words confused)

Idris Academy stands in front of us in all of its beauty

It looks _nothing_ like a prison

(because who would _ever _think that?)

My friend and I get out and start heading to the double doors

He seems to be excited about school too

Ready to start his last year

Ready to play in all the sports

Ready to talk to all the girls

He had finally stopped trying to go out with my sister

so it was fine with me

I let him do most of the talking

he loved to do it

and I preferred to listen

so we worked together

Eventually he went off to his locker in the senior wing

I had barely taken a step towards mine when I crashed into someone

It was a hard impact

not enough to injure myself

(sadly)

but enough to knock us both down

We are both working to pick up all of his stuff

and I am

babbling

stuttering

I suddenly remember why I prefer not to talk:

"I-I-I'm so sorry! I didn't-I didn't see you!"

But the person I bumped into doesn't seem mad at all

He starts to laugh

I look up into his face

and the thing I notice first is

black

and caramel

and golden green

the second thing I notice is

glitter

makeup

glitter

jewelry

glitter

tight clothes

and did I mention _glitter? _

Even under all of the getup

He is the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life

He smiles at me

"Hello to you too, darling."

holy crap

that smile

that voice

everything about him was just

perfect

I realize that I am staring

blush as bright a red as his lipstick

and make to stand up

I reach down a hand to help him stand up

I feel a spark travel between our clasped hands

maybe I'm imagining it

maybe I'm not

but that's what it feels like

He casts a pointed look down at our still clasped hands

"Since we're already standing like this-I'm Magnus. Magnus Bane. This is my first day here and I must admit that it has started off excellently since you are the first person that I have officially met, sweetheart."

I look down

the blush on my cheeks is going no where anytime soon

"I'm Alec Lightwood. It's nice to meet you too."

I glance back up and see that he is still smiling down at me.

He finally lets go of my hand and pulls out a piece of paper from between the pages of a book

"Well, _Alec-_"

The way he says my name makes a small shiver run through my body

"Perhaps you could show me to my first class? I still don't know where anything is."

He lets out a short laugh

I have to force myself to look down at the paper

instead of stare at his beautiful face some more

I feel my eyebrows scrunch up when I notice that his schedule looks very familiar

I pull out my own from my back pocket and look at them

side by side

They were nearly identical

except for one class

I was going to get to spend

pretty much

_all day _

with this handsome new student

This year was going to be very interesting

* * *

**A/N: It felt nice switching it up from heartbreak to an awkward first meeting. **

**Just so there is no confusion about all of these 'new' characters: **

**The people living in Alec's house (besides from himself): Max (who he shares a room with), Izzy, Tatiana, Gideon and Gabriel. (the last three are from TID and don't worry if you haven't read that series, you'll still get this story. For the purpose of Silver, they were originally his cousins but Robert and Maryse adopted them and you will find out why in a later chapter).**

**The people that he rode to school with were Jonathon and Valentina Morgenstern (yes Jonathon is nice in this story, yes I just had to include Valentina because she is adorable, and yes Clary is also in this story but she didn't ride with them for reasons you will see later) **

**Don't worry about Jace either, he'll be around soon. **

**Onto reviews:**

Kelly **Thank you! You are way too sweet. I hope it isn't too confusing either. The chapter titles tell you what day it is and I also include the date as a header so I think we'll be good. **

Victoria Ash **Yes. The plan is that we will be following multiple people and finding out all about their pasts. Most of the chapters will be told from Alec's POV just because I find it easier but I can definitely switch it up now and then. **

WolvesInBoundary** You are also way too sweet. Thank you so much for the review and I hope you like this chapter also since it is the first day they met.**

**I have nothing else to say other than follows, favorites, and reviews are always welcome. **

**And...you can tell me what day you want me to write about for the next chapter (just pick a number between 2 and 500) and I will try my best to deliver it. **

**-Alexandermylove **


	3. Day 5

**Hey! Yes I know, I know I haven't posted in forever. I just got distracted by other things but here it is and A Little Death should be up in a few days too. **

**I hope you like this chapter: **

* * *

August 30th, 2013

* * *

Black and white

Mixing together

Not a care in the world

Smiling

and laughing

and sharing the same breath

Black and white

Mused due to fingers running through it

And pink

lips

pressed together

in passion

And not a care in the world

Not

A

Single

Care

And I had just exited the building

I don't know how long

I had just been stand there

watching

fascinated by the fact that they

gave zero fucks

about anyone that could have passed by

and seen them

they just cared about each other

That was until

they spotted me

standing there like a creep

"Lightworm! Go get your own boyfriend instead of always staring at mine!"

And then there is

Fire

Burning through me

Consuming my whole being

Blurring my vision

Moving across my skin

And immobilizing my lips

Said boyfriend interjects before my brain can even formulate functioning again

"Just ignore William

Place good natured eye roll here

I usually do."

And Will is trying to act offended

And Jem is leaning forward trying to pacify him

And they're kissing again

Not the same as before

but kissing nonetheless

Ever since Jem had stepped off a plane

when we were 12

they were always together

I could count all the times I had seen one without the other

on one hand

They were close

Extremely close

Started off as friends

quickly became best friends

and then it grew to be more than friends

way more

one would think they would grow tired of each other after all these years

but their love seemed to grow everyday

And then they are disappearing

continuing on with their happy existence

still not caring about anyone else

and I wish with

every fiber in my being

and I hope beyond hope

that I will be able to be like them one day

but I know that I won't

not now

and not any time in the near future

What I was going to do though

was go to the movies with the new kid:

Magnus Bane

It was not a date

the complete opposite of a date

really

just two friends watching a movie together

there was no big deal surrounding it

I did it with Jace and John all the time

Speaking of Jace and John I had almost forgotten

that I was supposed to be meeting up with them

on the other side of the parking lot

I started walking

one

foot

in

front

of

another

over and over

until I made it to them

they were already in Jace's Jeep

blasting the crap indie music

that we all liked

I jumped into the back

Jace instantly floored it speeding away from the school

"Alec did you get lost or something?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded sarcastically as a way of replying

we pulled up to John's house

went up to his room

We had had the tradition of doing all our homework on Friday afternoons

directly after school

It had started so that 'we' could go to parties Friday night

all the way up to early Monday morning

without stopping

and worrying about school work

or trying to do it while hung over

at least it benefited my two friends

I only went to parties when they forced me to

(which was most of the time)

and even then didn't partake in any of their activities

About 3 hours

and just as many snack breaks later

we had finished and were just lounging around

"What are we going to do tonight?"

Jace asked from his position up on John's bed

"Don't you guys have a party or something?"

"Not tonight. The only one being thrown is by Sebastian-my parents lock up all the liquor before going out of town for the weekend- Verlac." John supplied with a roll of his eyes.

Alec wanted to roll his own eyes

at his friends' opposition of going to parties with no alcohol

but fought down the urge

The two excuses for best friends

threw out completely ridiculous ideas

that were

way too expensive

or they were too young for

or kinda on the illegal side of things

Alec finally interjected to say "You two are both idiots."

Jace snorted

(but didn't deny it)

"It's not like you're giving us better suggestions. Actually you've been weirdly quiet-have you already made plans without us?"

It came out as a rhetorical question

as if I was incapable of

doing/

planning/

executing

anything without them

and I knew it was stupid

stupider than stupid

but I opened my mouth anyway:

"I did. I'm going to the movies."

John raised an eyebrow, "With who?"

"The new kid,

Magnus."

Which sparked a conversation about Magnus being cool

not cool enough for them to know him

but cool enough

and they wanted to know all about how _I_ knew him

and why

we were hanging out together

and what

movie we were going to see

which just so happened to be the movie Jace had been dying to see

So they finally asked the question:

"Can we come?"

"I don't see why not."

I answered automatically

It wasn't a date

so it's not like they would be third and fourth wheeling or anything

And I was sure Magnus wouldn't mind

he loved meeting and making new friends

He had only been at their school for a week and he already had tons of them

what were two more?

I walked into the theater lobby

I scanned around looking for Magnus

and soon located him by all the

glitter

I walked over to him

calling out his name

he turned around

purple lips pulled away from pearly white teeth

creating one of the most beautiful smiles

in the world

and I was so distracted by

black

and caramel

and purple

and golden green

and sparkly glitter

that I didn't realize that I hadn't said anything

just stood there staring at him

I did this way more times than was socially acceptable

but he had yet to be creeped out

"Hey."

The slightly accented voice was as perfect as the smile

It was so not fair for one person to be so beautiful

Not that I noticed or anything

"Hey-" I said back.

It wasn't a lot

but it seemed like enough for Magnus

Before I could think of more

I heard someone calling out my own name

and soon a familiar hand was landing on my shoulder

"Are we going to get tickets or were you planning on just standing around here all day?"

It was one of my friends

I couldn't tell which

they started to blend together when I was distracted

and I was distracted now

I had seen the change in Magnus' expression

it was slight

one wouldn't be able to notice it if they were not looking

but I had been

and I saw how his smile had morphed into a look of disappointment

it had only been for a split second

before he had his smile back in place

but I had seen

Seen how he had stopped

and shifted gears

when he discovered that we were not going to be alone

Shit

Maybe this was supposed to be a date after all

And I had already fucked it up

* * *

**A/N: Yes I made Heronstairs a thing. And I don't regret it. **

**Do you want me to continue with this date that was supposed to be a date but Alec ended up ruining it before it even started or do you want something else? **

**Follows, favorites, and reviews are welcome! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	4. Day 68

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm so so happy about all the positive feedback I got on the last chapter. I'm glad you like reading this just as much as I like writing it. **

**There are three things to keep in mind while reading: **

**1) the formatting for this chapter was way more badass when I wrote it but then I uploaded it here and fanfiction hates me so no more cool formatting **

**2) my knowledge on water polo and Spanish are very limited so just bear with me**

**3) this chapter is in Magnus' POV (yay!)**

**That being said here is day 68:**

* * *

November 1st, 2013

* * *

Things with Alec were

complicated at best

confusing and headache worthy and irritating

at worst

Magnus preferred to not think about it all that much

it was way easier

if he just lived in the moment

He has known Alec for a couple of months now

and they have grown as friends

but nothing else

He knew what his opinion of the other boy was:

Alec was the most beautiful person he had ever met

From his bright blue shining eyes

To the midnight black ravens wing color of his hair

All the way to the perfectly flawless alabaster skin

and yes,

Magnus knew that he was acting superficial

he was known to be that way at times

but it wasn't just that

it was the way that Alec was an open book

that invited Magnus to look at and go through

the way his eyes changed shades depending on his emotions

the way his eyebrows furrowed

and the way the corners of his eyes would crinkle

and the way he would blush fully and completely

from his hairline

to his collarbones

it was the way his laugh sounded like a song

that Magnus had listened to his whole life

it was the way he didn't talk very often

but when he did

it was like coming home and seeing something

that you didn't know you had forgotten

Things with Alec were

very

_very_

complicated

Magnus remembered that it was

whenever he felt his heart stir in his chest

a sort of painful pleasure

that told him that he was getting too deep

that told him that he needed to back off

pursue other

safer

people

like

Woolsey

or Camille

who he knew didn't give a shit about him

but made very pretty arm candy

and were very good at the 'physical side of things'

They didn't require much thought

time with them mostly consisted of

lips pressed together

and pants roughly getting pulled off

and grinding into each other

until they reached their finish

Woolsey and Cami didn't

make his heart skip a beat

or take his breath away

but there was no way that they could break his heart

Speaking of people who could break his heart…

He had been sitting in Spanish

a class that was kinda pointless to him

considering he already knew the language

(eight years in Madrid had seemed to pay off)

but it was an easy A so who was he to complain

Anyway,

he was sitting in class

only half paying attention to his _maestra _

who was droning on and on about conjugations

when a certain someone slid a note over to him

_Magnus, tengo una pregunta_

Magnus rolled of his eyes

They weren't allowed to use English in the classroom

leave it to Alec to follow rules even while breaking another

_Alright. But I'll only answer it if you write in English. __Live life on the edge for once, darling._

Alec smiles briefly

then bites down on his bottom lip

while he writes his response

The pale boy hesitates for a moment

before he slides the paper back to Magnus

_Will you come to my game later today? _

Magnus' hand automatically starts writing an affirmative

But then he hesitates

if he says 'yes'

will Alec think that he is only there

to provide the support of a friend

or the support of someone who wants more from their relationship

he wasn't sure what he wanted Alec to think himself

like Magnus had thought before

this was complicated

way too complicated

but he still found himself answering

_Wouldn't miss it for the world, sweetheart. _

Alec played water polo

even if he wasn't harboring some complicated feelings for the beautiful boy

Magnus had never been one to pass up on watching

hot,

muscled,

half naked guys

swimming around in a pool

Alec matched all the criteria and then some

when he unrobed

Magnus almost thought his heart would stop working

every inch of bared skin

was hard

and sharp

lots of angles

that built up on top of each other

to form Alec Lightwood

"Damn. Magnus you look like you're about ten seconds away from drooling."

A voice that Magnus had become familiar with

murmurs into his ear

it is a voice that only had two functions

snarky

and sarcastic

right now it was snarky

Magnus flashes Woolsey an award winning smile

even though his lips want to drop into a frown

he gestures toward the pool

"Can you blame me? Do you see all the eye candy down there?"

Not just Alec either

he is accompanied by

his two friends that showed up on their almost 'date'

Jace and John

And Will

a boy that shared some of Alec's signature features

black hair and blue eyes

someone that Magnus could have possibly turned his attention to

if the boy hadn't been in a relationship

for more years

than Magnus could speak fluent English

and a handful of other very attractive guys

Woolsey simply casted them an appraising look

and nothing more was said about it

Magnus had been to a couple of Alec's games before

and by now he more or less understood the game

when he wasn't distracted by staring

at all the bared skin

and abs for days

he finds himself getting into the plays

and cheering when Alec's team scores a goal

or _whateveritisthatitscalledwhentheygettheballinthenet_

and even though Magnus doesn't know much about sports

he knows that Alec's team is kinda unusual

the other team makes a lot of noise

is constantly yelling out to each other

Alec's team is deathly silent

they don't have to say anything

they just throw the ball

and trust that it will get where it needs to go

and it does

_every_

_single_

_time_

perhaps that's why they have an undefeated streak

in the last quarter

Will passes the ball to Jace

who in turn passes it to John

and without hesitating the boy whips it to the other teams goal

the ball is easily blocked

but right before the crowd can voice their disappointment

Alec appears out of no where

and with moves so lightning fast

that they could have only been planned

catches the ball while it's still in midair

and throws it into the net

the audience

along with Magnus

goes wild

screaming at the top of their lungs

Woolsey is among the many who are feeling the post win euphoria

but unlike Magnus

he actually knows about sports

he shoots the taller boy a questioning look

raises an eyebrow

Magnus just shrugs

tries to play it off as nonchalant

if he finally admits

that he is cheering more for a specific person

rather than the teams win in general

he makes sure to keep it to his thoughts

He loses Woolsey somewhere between

heading down the bleachers

and walking up to Alec

he really can't find it in himself to care

As Magnus approaches

something magical happens

Alec's eyes lock with his

and his lips stretch into the most extraordinary smile

For a second Magnus is stunned into silence

Here is Alec

smiling his beautiful smile

a smile that lights up his whole face

and threatens to set fire to all of Magnus' walls

and all of his words are gone

for once Alec is the one to break the silence

"You came-"

The way he says it

slightly disbelieving

like he had been sure that Magnus

had a million other things that he would rather be doing

creates an ache in his chest

He gives Alec a warm smile of his own

"But of course, darling. I said I would, didn't I?"

Alec looks flattered

a slight flush works its way across his face

"I know you did but-"

"No buts, sweetheart. You asked me to come and I did."

They lapsed into a moment of silence

it isn't uncomfortable

Magnus doesn't feel an urge

to fill the space with words

he was content just standing here

staring at Alec

But clearly his teammates don't feel the same way

his two meat head friends

that always manage to appear

whenever Alec and Magnus start to make some progress

are suddenly there

both beaming

and complimenting Alec like there is no tomorrow

Alec looks slightly uncomfortable

being the center of attention

but manages to smile

and accept their praises modestly

finally Jace asks

"You're both coming to my house right? There'll be plenty of booze, plenty of girls"

He shoots Magnus a contemplating look before adding

"And guys."

The way that it comes out of Jace's mouth

so naturally

without even a hint of malice

way different than some of the people at Magnus' old schools

has his lips tilting up in the corners

"Sounds like fun. I'll be there."

Alec looks at his friend for a moment before saying

"Yeah. I'll head over there a bit later."

And after a couple of farewells

and a few more stray compliments

his friends are disappearing back into the crowd

Alec turns to him

he looks like he is contemplating something himself

before he says

"I always need a little extra energy before I go to one of their you want to go get coffee with me and then we

can go to Jace's

together?"

Things were complicated

too fucking complicated

so complicated that when Alec finished speaking

he felt his heart skip a beat

Alec wanted to get coffee with him?

He mentally shakes his head to clear it

Get it together Magnus

this was not a romantic gesture

this was just two friends enjoying some sugary drinks together

plus, Alec knew that Magnus didn't have a car

so it was just his way of being nice

and stopping Magnus from walking to a party in the dark

That's all

* * *

"I don't think I've ever seen experienced someone ordering a black coffee from Starbucks before."

Alec takes a sip of said black coffee

Shrugs

"There's a first time for everything."

"But you just _completely _wasted this Starbucks trip, though. You can get black coffee literally anywhere. People come to

Starbucks to get delicious fraps and other sugar filled drinks."

Magnus takes a long pull from his own frap

to emphasize his point

Alec rolls his eyes and doesn't bother to respond

Magnus takes the boy's silence in stride

and smiles against his straw

Magnus still didn't understand why

spending time with Alec

was as easy as breathing

they spend the rest of the time

talking

and laughing

and rolling their eyes at each others antics

Alec tells him about his five siblings

two biological:

_Isabelle and Max_

and three adopted:

_Gideon, Gabriel, and Tatiana_

Magnus had spent most of his life wishing for siblings

and he had them now

foster siblings

but he enjoys hearing Alec talk about his

his whole body becomes animated

eyes bright

wild hand gestures

Magnus can tell that he loves his brothers and sisters

more than anything

And Alec is just so

pure

and honest

that Magnus finds himself

wanting to be honest too

he tells Alec all about

Ragnor and Catarina

and how even though they only met in June

he is beginning to love them

as much as if they were real siblings

and he finds himself talking about his past

something that he hates to do

but before he can stop himself

_Jakarta_

_Madrid_

_London_

they are all spilling out of his lips

Alec listens to everything

He nods at just the right places

Laughs at the happy moments

Asks questions to discover more

He is actually interested in what Magnus has to say

He can't help but think

that if he had tried to talk about these things with Woolsey or Cami

it would be going in one ear

and coming back out the other

but when his hand is resting on the table between them

and Alec's fingers brush against it

while reaching for his black coffee

sparks travel through his caramel skin

his brain empties

and all he can think about is the way

Alec's skin felt

pressed against his own

Magnus slides his hand forward

until it is resting on top of Alec's

The other boy doesn't move away this time

* * *

**A/N: At first I wasn't going to include the part that was under the line but I figured that I had already cut one 'date' in half and I didn't want to do it again. **

**What did you guys think of Magnus' pov? **

**Since I'm going back to school soon I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post but reviews are definitely a great motivator. **

**-Alexandermylove **


	5. Day 110

**A/N: Hey! Yes I didn't die and yes I finally have a new chapter for you guys! **

**I'm sorry for taking so long but school has been a real pain in the ass and then when I actually had time to write, I had writers block -_- **

**This was me attempting to push past said block and hopefully I didn't fuck this chapter up too badly. **

* * *

December 13th 2013

* * *

Step out of the car

and deep breath Lightwood

and _holy shit_

don't drop the gift

you didn't work on this

for days

just to crack the frame now

that would not be good

not good at all

Just keep breathing

in,

out

in,

out

ignore the fact that your hands are shaking

ignore the way the cold winter air burns your lungs

ignore the way your heart is painfully pounding against your ribcage

force your legs to move

left

right

left

right

follow Clary and Jace and John

to the door

act like you're not about pass out from nerves

it's just a party

you've been to plenty of these before

just a simple party

being thrown for Magnus

because of his birthday

that happened to be today

things had been a bit strained

tension just continuing to build

between himself and Magnus

ever since Jace's party

back in November

neither of us had brought up

what had happened

that night

I wasn't even sure if Magnus remembered it

the other boy had drunk so much that night

it wouldn't surprise me if he couldn't even remember his own name

a month later

and I still wasn't sure whether it was

a good or bad thing

wasn't sure if I wanted to be able to forget

what had happened myself

maybe if I had I wouldn't be so jittery right now

what would I even say when I saw him?

sure,

we see each other at school everyday

but this was different

this was where Magnus _lived_

it added a whole new level of intimacy to things

but it was too late to turn back

if I insisted on leaving

before we had even entered the house

then I would have to explain myself to my friends

and that just wasn't possible

walking through the door

my senses were instantly assaulted by

the darkness of the room

the strong smell of alcohol

the blasting music

all the people packed into the space

I was used to this kind of thing

with my friends dragging me off to parties all the time

but this time just felt

immensely different

They were greeted

by Magnus' sister

she smiled

joked around a bit

took their gifts

and disappeared back into the throng of people

leaving them to their own devices

John suggested going to the kitchen

and finding the alcohol

I wasn't a very big drinker

I usually left that to my friends

but perhaps a drink

or five

would help to calm my nerves

* * *

An hour later

I was alone

all of my friends had disappeared on me

I hadn't seen Magnus once

at this point

I didn't even know what was in my cup

or what _used _to be in it

it was empty again

I had kind of lost track of how many times

it had been refilled

the only thing that I had accomplished though

was giving myself a headache

there was no good feeling running through my veins

hadn't magically loosened up

hadn't as Jace put it:

'found a hot chick to make out with in one of the bedrooms'

(not that I would want to)

I headed back into the kitchen

with the hopes of finding something stronger

what I found instead

was silver and black

Jem and Will

standing in one of the corners

not all hair and hands and teeth and lips

but just sharing space

raised eyebrows and bright smiles and light in their eyes

the way they looked at each other

it made me wonder what it would be like

to love

and be loved

they made it look so easy

as easy as breathing

but I knew it would never be that simple for me

I didn't want to interrupt

yet another moment between them

so I silently slipped away

headed to the staircase

the party was apparently going on downstairs too

maybe I could find someone to talk to

break some of the tension

slowly consuming my entire being

the basement was very similar to the upstairs

with the exception of having more lighting

and more people that I actually knew

I quickly caught sight of John

pressed up against one of the walls

kissing some Sophomore girl

Jace and Clary were dancing

and towards the back of the room

were Izzy and Ana

laughing

holding onto each other

they were both probably too drunk to be able to stand by themselves

I started heading toward them

getting them both home before they did anything stupid would be a good excuse for leaving

Right?

but while moving through the room

something flashed in the corner of my eye

I turned my head

and felt my stomach drop

I had finally found Magnus

he looked just as beautiful

if not more

than he always did

pants

so tight that there was nothing left for the imagination

top

cropped and revealing the smooth expanse of his stomach

covered in glitter from head to toe

he looked perfect

the only bad thing being

the fact that his undivided attention

was being directed towards

Woolsey Scott

they were dancing

if you could call it that

they were grinding

even that didn't seem like the right word

they were basically having sex

right in front of everyone

not caring about who could possibly be watching

There were wandering hands

and biting teeth

and swollen lips

and heads thrown back in pleasure

and then Magnus was turning around

blatantly grinding his backside

against Woolsey's very obvious arousal

I had heard the rumors

about them

and they were all confirmed in this moment

My brain suddenly cleared of everything

except for the image of Woolsey

sinking his teeth into Magnus' neck

and the feeling of my stomach

twisting, turning, churning

warning me that I was going to be sick

and I was pushing through the crowd

taking the stairs two at a time

running through the living room

out the front door

and finally let go

painful fire

working it's way up and

out

I welcomed the burn

like an old friend

let it consume my being

urged it on

let it distract me

savored every moment

it took away my memory

above me it had started to snow

I hated the fact that the pure substance

was quickly tainted because of me

but I couldn't stop

the alcohol

all the food I had eaten today

the nerves

the frustration

the confusion

the envy

_everything_

was coming back up

and spilling through my mouth

while the party continued to go on inside

* * *

**A/N: Yes Heronstairs made another appearance (I can't help it sometimes). **

**So tell me what you thought of this chapter because I have really mixed feelings about it. **

**Follows, favorites and reviews are always amazing. **

**-Alexandermylove **


	6. Day 111

**A/N: Yes, I have finally broken my long (way longer than I expected) hiatus. First it was because I directed all my focus toward finishing my other stories. Then it was because I decided that I wanted to edit this and make this a 'real' story that's actually told in order but when I tried, it didn't really work out. This story still might go through some edits in the future, I'm not sure yet, but in the mean time enjoy this new chapter: **

* * *

December 14th 2013

* * *

_Hey_

the text came in

a day after the party

it was

three in the afternoon

I briefly wondered

how the rest of the party had went

decided I didn't want to know

what Magnus had done

or perhaps the right word was

who

_Hey_

I texted back

I was with Max

had been since I walked home last night

the walk had seemed both

extremely long

whole lifetimes passing between footsteps

yet accelerated

between the space of one blink and another

I was suddenly standing in front of my house

I had fallen into my little brother's bed

seeking warmth and innocent companionship

and was greeted with more than enough

by both Max and Val

since then Val had left

my other siblings had come, gone, and passed out somewhere

but Max had stayed with me

they were in the library

Max reading one of his colorful comic books

while I attempted to drown myself in French Literature

_You want to come over? Hang out maybe?_

I didn't think I could go to Magnus' house again

see Magnus so soon

without also seeing

Woolsey

attached to him like a leach

I didn't want to see anyone today

no one but Max

but what was I supposed to tell Magnus?

He would surely see past my excuses

so I said

_sure_

* * *

Half an hour later

and I found myself in front of Magnus' front door

My hand rose to ring the doorbell

it was shaking so badly I could barely

keep it straight

Why was I so nervous again?

Magnus and I were just friends

Even if I felt something for him

The feelings were very one sided

I had seen as much last night

Friends didn't get butterflies

Beating against their stomach walls

Moving into their ribs

Fluttering around their heart

Moving up their throat

Blocking their air passages

Flying around in their heads

Until there was a pounding pain

But did anyone get butterflies like that really?

The door suddenly swung open

the people inside had probably

noticed me standing there like an idiot

and had come out to tell me to

Leave

That would be easier

Right?

Tell Magnus that I had came

just to be chased away by his concerned parents

But it wasn't a concerned parent that opened the door

It was Magnus

I was filled with happiness

and grief

because what could possibly come from this?

Except pain

pain

and more pain

Filling my whole body until I could barely move

And Magnus smiled

a beautiful smile

brighter and warmer than the sun

I wished he could call it mine

but he knew it was Woolsey's

And Magnus was

grabbing my arm

and pulling me inside

"Come on"

He was saying

His fingers lacing with mine

and leading me up a staircase

But I could barely register what was happening

all I could focus on

was how good

it felt

to

hold

Magnus'

hand

he led me into a room

and closed the door behind us

"Okay-" Magnus started

I could barely hear over the

_thumpthmupthmup_-ing of my heart

that seemed way too eager

to tear a hole through my chest

and present itself to Magnus on the floor

"I texted you because I have a feeling that I'm going to love your present and I wanted to be with you when I opened it."

_Bewithyou?_

the words swirled around in my brain

around and around

until I shook my head to get myself to focus

on the rest of what Magnus had said

and before my brain could be worked into a frenzy again

I forced himself to speak:

"Yeah

Sure

That's cool"

Yeah, sure. That's cool?

I wanted to bash my head in

Magnus' eyebrows furrowed

for a second I thought the other boy would tell me to leave

that he had changed his mind

but he just gestured for me to sit on his bed

I did

perched myself on the edge

waited while he retrieved the bag that held his present

I focused solely on Magnus' face

if I even saw an

_ounce_

of disappointment

or any other negative emotion

I was prepared to make up some excuse as to why I would have to leave

right then that very second

like having to clean up my siblings' projectile vomiting

which I would have conveniently forgotten

up until that moment

or Max suddenly becoming a pyromaniac

which was something one didn't have to get a call or a text about

you just sensed it when your little brother made the switch

or perhaps something more sensible

But I didn't

see even a

sliver

of negative

Magnus' face shone as if

I had just given him the answer to all of life's questions

instead of just a simple drawing

(it had taken me days to finish but still)

and then turned to look at me as if I had hung the stars in the sky

"I love it! I mean, I knew that I would but I didn't expect that I would this much!"

Magnus was practically gushing

his face so radiant that it was almost blinding

so of course it made me want to keep looking

Before I knew what was happening

Magnus was throwing himself at me

his long arms going around my neck

and we fell backward onto the bed

We were so

close

skin separated only by clothing

that I forgot how to breathe

and my heart forgot how to beat

_eyesnoseearsnerves_ forgot how to _seesmellhearfeel_ anything that wasn't

Magnus

After a moment of hugging me

Magnus pulled back

just a tiny bit

enough to look me in the eye

he laughed once

"Sorry, Alec, I just-I-"

Magnus never stuttered

but then again

we had never been this close before

save for one time

and I didn't even know if Magnus remembered that

But we were close

and both of us were very aware of that fact

I tried not to let my gaze wander down

to

his

lips

and failed

but I was not the only one

I leaned

or Magnus leaned

or both of us leaned

forward

our lips touched

and it was

perfect

lips meeting lips

and his hands coming up to frame my face

breaths mingling together

and my hands trailing along the hem of his shirt

hearts beating in sync

everything was Magnus

and I wouldn't want it any other way

this had to be a sign

that perhaps Magnus felt the same way about me that I did about him?

After all here was was kissing me and not

…

"Woolsey."

I breathed out

Magnus leaned his forehead against my temple

"Hmm?"

"Woolsey-" I said louder

Way too loud for the quiet room

"Aren't you two

...together?"

Magnus let out a laugh

pressed his lips to my skin once more

"No-far from it. He's not the 'relationship type' and even if he was, I wouldn't want to be in one with him, of all people."

"Then what is he to you?"

"He's-he's-

nothing."

That didn't sound very reassuring to me

If Magnus was able to do

what I had seen last night

and more

with Woolsey

and have it mean

nothing

then what did _this_ mean to him?

Maybe he saw how my face darkened

maybe he had planned it out from the start

maybe I was hearing things

"He's not important to me, true. But that doesn't mean that I feel the same about you

_You're_ important to me, Alec."

Our foreheads were pressed together

and I felt lightheaded

like I was going to pass out

"You're

important

to

me

too."

It felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest

I was

lighter

easier

filed with less tension

now that things were more or less

out in the open

I refused to give voice to the question that was hovering around the edge of my consciousness

Refused to shatter the thin bubble that encased my happiness

by saying the words out loud

_What now?_

* * *

**A/N: Dun dun dun. **

**I will definitely try to update this way sooner then I have in the past. If I start taking too long feel free to yell at me to update in the comments or through pm or on tumblr. **

**Follows and favorites also help keep me motivated (just so you know) **

**-Alexandermylove **


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